Singapore men, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!

Ok, this being a new blog, I think I have to write about sex to attract some attention. Hopefully after a while, I don't have to write about sex anymore because I am quite shy one.

I think my favourite hot convent girl, Blinkymummy, also wrote a guide on how to be good in bed for the ladies (which shows her inexperience about bedding affairs and which makes me like her more), so I should also write one for the men too.
[Correction: I got nabehed by BM because apparently she didn't write such an article]

Is it disturbing to you all (men in this instance) that there are so many women commenting how Singapore men are bad in bed?

Doesn't matter that 75% (or more) of these women who posted on how men are bad in bed are behaving like dead logs in bed themselves, we need to shut them up. Come on, Singapore always number 1 one, we have best airport, best port, best mathematic scores, best appetitie during buffets and what not, so why should we not be best in bed too?

Before I begin my guide, let's get one thing straight. A high percentage of the so-called "bad in bed" are deliberate one la. Let me give you some common scenarios where Singapore men will pretend that they 'cannot stand' or 'eject already'.

Scenario 1:

You pick up a girl with an hourglass figure and looking like a chio bu. Then when you finally strip her of her clothes and make-ups, ALAMAK!!, she is transformed into another person. You discovered that all her assets are fake...and wah lau oei, she is damn ugly man!

The technology of wonderbra is damn advance now and some girls actually went to professional make-up artists before they go to pub to have a good time.

At this point, the man will be thinking "Wah lauz, sian ah..., wasted my time and my taxi fares (or car petrol), maybe I just pretend I cannot get up and quickly go back to the pub and pick up another chio bu"

Some men with stronger pride will not allow themselves to be seen as "cannot get up", so they will instead say "I am going to take a bath" and then proceed to the bath room to arouse their kkc (horse for rockson and dragon for me) until it is going to explode. Then they return to the bed and eject on the women. By doing so, they can save their own pride and also make the women feel good that they are so hot that the men had premature ejections.

Scenario 2:

Ok, the girl turned out to be not that ugly and still bearable under very dim light and also you can go for doggie position so that you won't have to see her face. But then she behaves like a dead log and you really don't want to be getting involved in necrophilia .

At this point, most men have two options again. (1) Pretend they cannot stand or (2) Say they are taking a bath.

/drumroll !!!!

Ok, after I have clarified the impression that Singapore men cannot stand up for Singapore and often have premature ejections, it is now the time for my "Eternal bliss" guide to lovemaking for men. Sometimes a chiobu really turned out to be a chiobu and sometimes you want to make a 'quiet and shy' girl shows her primitive nature, you need to read my guide carefully.

Equipments you need: Nail clipper and nail file.

Now you must be thinking, why the fug I need nail clipper and nail file for? Am I supposed to stick that thing into .... /BONG!!! NO LA! You PERVERT!

Other than your kkc, you need your fingers and your tongue to do the lovemaking.

Well, always keep your nail short and file them nicely so that they are not sharp. Your fingers and your tongue are very important in making the woman 'miao'. Ok, have you heard of the G-spot? This is the spot you want to caress slowly. If you get it right, you will get instant response within 10 sec. Be very gentle at first because some girls, such as virgins and the inexperienced girls, may find it painful (luckily such girls are quite rare now).

Once you get the miaoing started, you need to work it with some rhythm. Rub it gentlely, hit it lightly, caress the area around it and also just press your inner palm around it from time to time. Do this for about 10 minutes and you should be hearing lots of groaning and moaning. Actually this is very shiok one. Don't just shiok shiok yourself can? Don't be selfish please. Spread the joy a bit la.

Meantime, you still have one hand and your mouth free right? Caress the neh neh and kissing her lips and her ears gently will make her miao even more!

After some 20 to 25 minutes, usually you will hear "Come...I want...". Then you say "Er...what you mean?" and at the same time, stick you index or middle finger into her little sister a bit like 1 to 2 mm. "Come...I want la...", you say "Er...what do you want?".

"FUCK ME!!!!"

You say "Cannot la, we are still not married, and I really love you, I don't want to start our relationship in the wrong manner" while saying this, you move down and use your tongue to lick the same area gently, press your tongue against it hard and suck it too. You may want to practise your tongue on hammering action a bit. Can be very tiring for your tongue if your tongue is new to this.

More miaoing to follow. Do this for 10 minutes. By this time, the miaoing will turn into screaming and heavy panting. "FUCK ME!!!" "FUCK ME!!!"

You say, "We have no condom, what if you are pregnant?" or you can say "No..I will not have sex with you, my love for you is real one" and "CANNOT, I am still a virgin, I wanna keep it this way for my future wife!!!"

Usually at this time, the woman will turn aggressive and jump on you. Just stay there and keep saying "NO..we cannot...our love should not be tainted this manner". Finally she will move her ass and get herself into you. If you are at the missionary position, just follow her rhythm and try to press your kkc against the upper area of the opening which is the area you have been working on.

She should be screaming "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" in less than 1 minute. More screaming and trembling for another 10 to 20 secs. Then her body will become soft and totally exhausted. At this time, you can still do what you want to do. Just do it slowly and gently. She will feel very good even after the climax. Feel free to come anytime now.

After the whole thing, you should be tearing and say "How? This is my first time, I feel that I have been raped....kuakuakuakua...!"

After this, she will wet her panties just standing next to you and you can slowly teach her to do many tricks and you will find her a willing party.

Sometimes you may not want to use your tongue on strangers and especially if you didn't wash her thoroughly.

Ok, better stop here. There are 9 more methods but you need to figure them out yourself. I don't want to turn this into a sex blog.